RELATIONSHIP and INTIMACY ISSUES
Do you feel the level of intimacy has changed or is lacking altogether in your relationship(s)?
Do you feel uncomfortable with or even fear intimacy within your relationship(s)?
Are you experiencing difficulty in communication within your relationship(s)?
Do you avoid discussing serious topics with your partner?
Do you find it hard to trust within your relationship(s)?
Are you uncomfortable getting close to others?
Do you hold back sharing personal things with your partner or others?
Do you feel like you’re not accepted, supported or validated in your relationship(s) or by others?
Maybe you sabotage your relationships just as soon as you begin to get close.
If you answered yes or can relate to any of these, you’re not alone!
All relationships go through periods of highs and lows as the people and circumstances involved or around them change.
Many times we are able to get through these highs and lows and continue on in the relationship. Sometimes, however, circumstances including life situations, changes, and transitions can cause difficulty within your yourself and relationship(s).
Similarly, mental, emotional, and behavioral issues for one or both parties within a relationship can cause difficulty. Examples of these include present or past experiences with abuse, neglect, sexual assault/abuse, or having unresolved issues, to name a few. One of the more common issues that affects relationships and can be brought on by any of the above is intimacy issues.
Studies have shown that about 3% of people as individuals have issues with intimacy
and about 50% of relationships suffer from intimacy issues at some point.
When talking about intimacy we tend to automatically think of sexual relationships only. However, this isn’t the only type of relationship where intimacy exists. While intimacy is an aspect of sexual relationships, it is much more than just sexual acts and is part of almost every relationship we have.
For an individual person, Intimacy is the ability to share your true self with another person honestly and genuinely.
Within a romantic or sexual relationship, Intimacy is the feeling of emotional closeness, emotional connection, safety, validation and support for one another. Such relationships usually have mutual and reciprocal trust, caring, and acceptance of each person. These relationships also include physical intimacy including: touching, caressing, cuddling, kissing, hugging, and sexual acts.
Within a platonic (non-sexual/physical) relationship, Intimacy is the feeling of emotional closeness, emotional connection, safety, validation and support for one another. Such relationships usually have mutual and reciprocal trust, caring, and acceptance of each person. These relationships may include some physical touch including platonic hugs, kisses, etc., but they do not include sexual acts.
In general, Intimacy involves feelings of comfort in sharing anything with another person including feelings, emotions, and thoughts about anything and everything.
Intimacy can be broken down into different types:
Intellectual: The ability to share your thoughts and ideas with others or another person
Emotional: The ability to share your deepest, most personal feelings with others or another person
Experiential: The ability to share experiences with others or another person
Spiritual: The ability to share your spiritual beliefs and connections with others or another person
Sexual: The ability to share yourself sexually with others or another person
Physical: The ability to share yourself physically with others or another person, including non-sexual touching, kissing, holding hands, hugging, and caressing, etc.
We have all different types of relationships with many different people throughout life including family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, partners, lovers, and spouses. All of these relationships have different levels of intimacy from none at all to the highest, depending on the type and person with whom you have a relationship. For example, you may have no intimacy with your boss, but may have a low level of intimacy with co-workers with whom you talk about life situations and share some personal information. You may have distant relationships with certain family members with whom you only talk to once-in-while and share minimal personal information, and have very close relationships with other family members with whom you share deeper, more personal information. When it comes to sexual relationships you may have casual ones where you only share physical closeness or more serious relationships with partners or spouses where you share a very deep personal connection on many levels and in many ways.
As you can see, Intimacy is present on some level within all types of relationships we have with others. While it may not be a large or important aspect of some relationships, it is predominant and very important within others, such as with partners or spouses. The foundation of relationships with partners or spouses is ultimately built on Intimacy at all of its types and on all levels.
When we are comfortable with and have intimacy with others we are engaging
in healthy relationships that helps us grow and thrive!
However, when we are uncomfortable with or lack intimacy with others it can be very unhealthy and cause negative outcomes. When we once had intimacy in a relationship and then it changes or disappears it can become very stressful for one or both partners. Intimacy issues can lead to poor decisions that can eventually lead to bad, unstable and unhealthy relationships or avoidance of them altogether, ultimately leading to isolation. Intimacy issues can also cause an individual to have low levels of self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth. Lack of or issues with intimacy within a relationship can cause a couple to feel resentment, guilt, or abandonment and cause problems with their commitment, communication, honesty, and trust.
In any situation where you are having issues with intimacy, whether it be as an individual or as a couple whose intimacy level has changed in some way, such experiences can cause other mental, emotional, and physical symptoms such as headaches, body aches and pains, muscle tension, difficulty sleeping, eating or concentrating, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and related stresses.
Just as abuse, neglect, past experiences, and various types of traumatic experiences can cause us to have issues with intimacy, sometimes, they can also cause us to have negative patterns that continue to repeat despite undesired outcomes. Sometimes we are unaware of these patterns and sometimes we are aware, but don't know why we engage in them.
Sometimes lack of or change in intimacy within a relationship happens due to life situations, changes, or transitions that are unavoidable and/or difficult to face or resolve.
When we have issues with intimacy it can cause difficulty within ourselves and our relationships. Whether you are having issues with intimacy as an individual or you are in a relationship in which the intimacy has changed or ceased and you need some extra help, guidance or support, consider psychotherapy.
Psychotherapy and CBT are evidenced based treatments that have been proven to be successful and the most effective forms of treatment for depression, anxiety and related stresses. They are very helpful in addressing and treating all of the symptoms related to those experienced by people dealing with relationship issues, including intimacy issues and their impact on life and relationships.
As I have mentioned on my other pages on this site, I use CBT as the basis for my psychotherapy, along with other methods, approaches, and strategies tailored to you as a unique individual and/or as part of a couple to help you gain all you need from your journey through the therapy process…
I can help you get in touch with your inner self and find intimacy, passion, and love in your life & relationships
I can help with restoring intimacy, love, hope, laughter and emotional connection in your relationships
I can help with all types of intimacy issues including: emotional, sexual/physical, financial, communication, trust, etc.
I can help to navigate through changes, transitions, and struggles within all relationship types that can contribute to intimacy issues
I can help save, define and understand relationships and address related intimacy issues
I can help with relationships changing their dynamic and issues related
I can help you to understand your own emotions, as well as your partner’s emotions, which will also help intimacy grow
I can also help those who have decided to end their relationship to do so in a mutually respectable and beneficial way, using the positive intimacy you have shared
Don’t let issues with Intimacy or difficulties in your relationships cause you unnecessary stress or heartache, learn to face them, understand them & grow from them
Whether you come by yourself or as a couple we can work together to help you learn, understand, and ultimately resolve intimacy issues and get you back on a path towards a healthier future!
If you think you're ready to start therapy & your journey towards unique & personal healing,
call me today for your free phone consultation
(631) 339-1326.
We can chat about whatever is needed
to help decide if
You and A Different View Psychotherapy LCSW PLLC
are the right fit!
